WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT ME

To be brought up by a loving and supportive father is one of the joys of life. you  never know how the things that your father does for you when you are a child will impact you when you grow older. my brother and I were very lucky to have a father who thought the Sun rose out of the eyes of his sons!

In the association  I had with him, there were certain aspects of him that were so inspiring and true that i thought that I should put them down.

1. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN, SUPPORT THEM AND PRAISE THEM

My brother and I were brought up in the 60s and 70s when it was common place for fathers to physically strike their children and overall strike terror in their hearts. In my association with my father I do not remember a time when he struck me physically. He loved his sons to distraction and found it easy to support them in whatever they did. Whenever i fell short of money, help was easily forthcoming from him- "'It's all for you guys - whatever I have is yours." In need of a Motorcycle after I had passed out of Medical College, he bought a Yezdi motor cycle for me and had it delivered to Dehra-Dun - the place where I was posted!

In fact the day before he died he was with me in Delhi and had gone to visit a senior official in the Ministry of Foreign affairs - Mr Katoch. In the middle of the day I get a call from Mr Katoch telling me that my father is sitting with him and he felt he had to talk to the person my father was speaking so highly of. I told Mr Katoch - Sir he is just being humble - we all love and respect our father so much because of the person that he is. That was just about the last time my father and I spoke with each other. He left for Surat the same day and we lost him the next day.

There were times I would tell him - why do praise us so much in front of others? It is embarrassing!

He always had a stock reply - Because you guys deserve it. 

2. DON'T GRAB ANYONE'S RIGHT AND DON'T GIVE ANY OF YOUR OWN

It sounds more appropriate when expressed in Hindi - Kisi ka hak chheenna nahin, Apna hak dena nahin! It was never more evident when there were attempts to encroach upon our property by our neighbour cousins - he stuck to his ground, even to the extent of going to the Court for establishing our rightful claim to our areas. I think this came easily to him because he was a lawyer and a Judge in the Army.

3. KEEP YOUR PAPERWORK METICULOUS - PUT EVERYTHING DOWN IN WRITING

We have a joint property, and it is easy to have disputes in such a situation. We could win all our rightful claims to our sections of the property because he had meticulously put everything down in writing and it was all stamped and registered. I am still trying to reach that  level of documentation sophistication!

4. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO PICK UP A NEW SKILL SET

After his full stint in the Army my father decided to settle down in Surat,since my brother would be setting roots there and I was being shunted from place to place, being in the Army myself.

As soon he reached Surat, he embarked on a tortuous course to learn the language! He succeeded partially but was confounded by the numbering! I remember him walking around the house with the 'Gujarati Primer' in his hands, muttering kem chho and tamaro abhhar! But he gave up at '

Ognees Wees' (nineteen twenty in Gujarati)!

He picked up employment with two companies one after the other, but felt exploited. Nor was he happy with the corruption that prevailed even in the private sector - regular workers subcontracting to outsiders for 'overtime' and then sharing the spoils! And then this Judge from the Army decided to go into business for himself and set up a Security Agency! Calling it ''Vigil Securities" he set up a business venture from scratch and raised it to become one of the most trusted names in the Security Business in Surat! And now, many years after his demise, thanks to his foresight and my brother's tenacity the Company continues to be one of leading players in the city!

After his demise I went to close down his desktop system and was most astonished to see that he was taking tutorials in typing lessons - so that he could improve his Computer Skills!

5. WORK HARD 

I think these are things you pick up subliminally. Whenever I look back upon my father I can only see him as doing something useful with his time. Though he loved listening to the news, he never watched it on TV - he had a trusted transistor that he would keep with him, and in the early morning hours he would tune in to BBC news for his updates.

6. EXERCISE REGULARLY

Having been brought up in Jalandhar in pre partition Punjab, his preferred languages were Urdu and Punjabi. He spoke and wrote English very well. So the tree was '' Drakhat" and the morning paper was ''Akhbaar" and his morning exercise, which he never shunned was ''Barjish!" - no such things as ''work out'' or  any other phrase for it!

7. PERSONAL BRAVERY

We owned a property in Surat which was wanted by some land grabbers. One day, while my father was at home, some 10-12 goons landed up at home to grab the land. My father went into the house, brought out his licensed Pistol and waved it in the face of all the men – “The first guy who comes in will be shot!” The goons scooted.

He was more than 70 years old at that time.

To have been brought by such an inspirational father was a stroke of luck for my brother and I and we will always be grateful to God for having granted us this privilege.